Research is my BFF

So I don't know if i should be researching SHORT films only?? Or films in general?? I guess I could do a bit of both but I'm not really finding much on short films.

I think my genre might be coming of age (wow shocker). I just love coming of age and I am a sucker for anything coming of age. I breathe coming of age.

So far, my opening will consist of a monologue. Here are a few films I will use as inspiration.

• Trainspotting (1996)
• Amélie (2001)
• Submarine (2010)

All these films are very different examples of coming of age. What I love about this genre is that it doesn't necessarily follow a defined set of conventions like all of those Marvel movies do. Coming of age has a very versatile nature. They can have (this is very bland word use) happy or sad endings, characters of any background, a variety of themes, and take place anywhere and anytime. I will definitely fit my film inside the coming of age category, but it will have hints of dry comedy. 

Anyways, I specifically chose these films because they have great monologues and writing.

I am a huge fan of the opening monologue from Trainspotting, and I will definitely be using it as a great example of establishing the story.

Submarine has a great monologue right after the opening, where Oliver, the main character, imagines how would life go on if he died, which is actually hilarious. I absolutely adore the dry comedy elements of this movie. It is so touching yet so funny at the same time, which are two elements I really want to go for. This is probably my favorite film ever and I didn't realize how it was basically made for me until my boyfriend pointed it out the other day when I made him watch it:

• It's an english film
• The soundtrack is composed by Alex Turner, the lead singer of my favorite band ever
• Dry humor *chef's kiss*
• It's coming of age
• The love interest has eczema (and I do too)

And finally theres Amélie! Which is also my little cousin's name (fun fact). Amélie has a great opening sequence which consists of narration introducing the "creation" of the character. I also really like the very distinct aesthetics of this movie. The colors are beautiful.

So yes!! This is my inspo! I have already decided on the first line of my opening monologue:

"When I was 9 I hated death."

More on this on the next post :)

I'll be okay (goodbyes suck)

I am currently working on the genre research post, but I felt the need to post this first.

I just said my goodbyes to my grandma. I am at peace because she is at peace.

The goodbye was tough. Goodbyes in general are probably the worst thing ever. I felt like I was expected to come up with the most emotional speech ever, and say everything I've always wanted to say to her. but it went something a little like this:

"Thanks for the delicious food. Also thanks for giving life to my dad. I love you and appreciate you. See you in a few years."

I couldn't find myself talking because of how painful it was. Words didn't flow. I couldn't stop crying. There were too many pauses.

Hopefully this whole project can make up for my poopy goodbye. I know she would be happier than ever. I am happy I am doing this. This will be good for me.

Whoever is reading this, I don't want you to think I'm exploiting my grandmother's death for quALiTy CoNTenT. This is an exploration of loss. This is something that will help me cope through the creation of art, which I believe is a beautiful thing. I am thankful I have this ability.

I wish she knew I was doing this.

Here's a picture of her as a beautiful young lady. This is when she moved to France at 16 to finish her studies. Je t'aime beaucoup toujours, Yaya.

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Update to this post. I am pondering a lot. Maybe too much.
I've been thinking a lot about that famous shower scene in Psycho. The woman dies in her shower, but the camera pans out of the bathroom while the water is still running to reveal her room. She has her nightstand there and on top of it, a newspaper. This is a clear depiction of the continuity of life. Life goes on. (ewwww cliché) It's true. Sue me.

I am thankful that her death wasn't anything sudden or tragic. Her presence is still strong within me. When you lose a loved one, living feels different. I feel even more motivated to continue than I was before. It feels less mundane. I feel the need to accomplish things she would've been proud to see. I feel the need to appreciate my loved ones even more.

This is my first time dealing with loss and I thought it would feel dark. Yes it is undoubtedly heartbreaking to lose that connection with someone, but I feel peaceful. I am okay.

I think I'm a sponge

We're in class right now currently trying to build the story. We also just had a lesson on screenwriting that sparked a lot of inspo.

I've realized that I can relate to Tarantino after the quote Tina showed us. I find myself being a listener and writing down random things that people say—the little idiosyncrasies. I am definitely more of a listener and perceiver than a speaker.

Update:

As of right now, I'm no longer working with Mariana. Tina helped us make the decision. We realized that although we work really well together, we both have different visions. And we would definitely be fulfilled to the maximum if we were to work individually because we would be guided by our own individual instincts.

I think this is for the best definitely. Either way, Mariana and I will still help each other during the process.

I think screenwriting might be my thing. I am inspired. I think I'm a sponge.

I have also decided that I am sticking to the story of loss. I don't have a title yet. I'll most likely come up with it in the end.

I was just sitting at the kitchen table with my mom and 12 year old brother (Philippe) while having lunch. She was talking to him about what was going on with my grandmother, trying to explain that she will be getting sedated through the abundant use of euphemisms. This conversation actually happened:

Mom: "So dad is flying to Lima to see Yaya (what we call my grandma). She's not doing well and once he gets there they will give her a medicine that will put her to sleep."

Philippe: "So melatonin?"

Mom: "A little stronger."

My mom and I couldn't hold it in and burst out laughing. I recorded the conversation on my notes, you know, for research.

The beautiful thing about making this film, is that this whole process will be an exploration of loss, and coping with it. Which will result to my ultimate goal: making a piece that bursts with sincerity and authenticity.

I am thrilled.

Next post will be all about genre research!!!

Art as a form of overcoming (grandparents are the best)

WARNING: This gets personal

I don't even know if I should be writing about this over here. But I see this as part of my process. I also kinda have to vent.

Last class, Tina recommended a film called Honeyboy as a way of creating art to overcome certain events. This really stuck to me. Remember my idea about loss? Well...

I don't mean to get this any dark. I have never experienced loss, but I may be experiencing it soon. My grandmother, who I absolutely adore and consider one of my best friends, has had cancer for a few months already. My dad will be travelling to Peru tomorrow to say goodbye.

I have written many thing about her. Anytime I would have the opportunity, I would record voice memos of conversations I would have with her, so I can go back and listen to them whenever i wish to. To remember certain bits of wisdom I obtain from them. She often spoke about how her deepest wish was to be with my grandfather again, who passed away when my dad was 18 years old.

 (And also small debates. I had an argument with my other grandmother because according to her "it's the female's fault if the male were to sexually assault her because of what she's wearing" because it "CLEARLY" states it in the bible. That recording started off as something wholesome. We were both in the kitchen listening to her favorite songs while she drank wine, and it led to that. I love her but yikes.)

Loss. It's beyond anyone's ability to comprehend. I feel like if I make my short film about it, it would definitely provide me with a sense of self-discovery. I would create art to overcome loss.

I don't want anyone to believe I desire pity or anything. I want people to watch the film, have a good laugh, somehow relate to it, and feel touched. My goal is to make the most sincere piece I have ever made. This would definitely be something very personal to put out there, and I am also working with Mariana. So we would have to come up with something that we can both be really passionate about.

If you're reading this and still have your grandparents around, go ahead and smooch 'em. Give them a call, cook them dinner. Hugs! Give them hugs. Grandparents radiate a kind of warmth no other living soul could.

The birth of a story

So here are some of the stories that Mariana and I came up with that I can visualize v nicely!

Idea 1:

• Imaginary friend/alter ego
• twist at the end
• you wouldn't know it was a product of the subject's imagination until the end
• the complexity of human nature
• ^bad vs good
• angel vs devil
• yin yang
• voice over: two people talking to show train of thought

*So when we though of this I instantly thought about Fight Club, where that great twist in the end reveals that Tyler was imaginary all along. I really like this idea.

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Idea 2:

Someone goes to sleep and wakes up in a strange place, almost like a dream

Or the story be about someone’s dream, that way it can be abstract and not make sense,

Then when the person wakes up, something about the dream gives them a message about their real life.

*So Mariana wrote this one. Dreamz r cool! Inception! I feel like this would be a great theme for a short film. And we could play with alternate storylines.

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Idea 3: Call it fate call it karma

• We don't understand anything
• commentary/critique on religion
• searching, longing, hoping?
• we welcome you!
• according to religion it's as easy as that^
• god is the answer

*This was inspired by a song by the Strokes!! I used this song as the background music from my brand identity project. I have never heard anything like it and I love it. The message is also extremely deep although it doesn't sound like it. I connected it to the sign outside the church in Chicago I saw (as I mentioned in the blog post before) and thought we could cope up with something related to religion and how humanity relies on it so much.

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Idea 4: LOSS

• Dry humor take on dealing with loss
• tied with religion
• commentary on how children perceive death, what is taught to them
• flashback scenes with monologue:
• checking if fish is dead
• checking if sister is dead
• animal on tamagotchi died
• tap sink 30 times or your mom will die (voice in head)
• mother saying "it went to heaven"
Scene idea:
VO: "I'd check how my mom' heart was doing, but my method often went wrong"
Scene: checks if mom is alive by placing ear on her heart while she is asleep, but she wakes up and snaps.
VO: "so I switched things up a little for a boost of discreteness"
scene: goes to sister and places finger below nostrils, shows a face of relief

*This is probably one of my favorites. This idea sparked from that scene I had in my head, of someone walking past a fishbowl and then walking back to check if the goldfish was dead (as I mentioned in the previous blog post). This is the idea I have visualized the best. Maybe these bullet points don't really make sense but this is simply what sparked from my brain at the moment.

Our goal is to definitely have thing set in stone by the end of this week. We should already know what it is that we're doing so we can start writing scripts and creating storyboards and shot-lists!!!

Here's a video that will serve as a guide for me.

Also this is a Tamagotchi. These were the definition of my childhood. I though of these as one of the very first ways a child would perceive death, whenever the animal, you know, would "go to heaven".

How My Brain Works

Mariana and I have the same source of inspiration: music. We both listen to music and create small scenes or scenarios inside our heads and create stories from there.

I have been doing this for a while. I have a playlist composed of songs that make me feel this way.

These are my random notes where I recorded those visions. (Yes it's in spanglish, the language of my train of thought)



Yes, a lot of them sound dark and include drugs I know jshsfskjfdsk but yea some of them are really cool. At least in my mind.

I wrote some of these ideas in a more detailed and developed way in our brainstorming google doc. But the problem is that a lot of these are cliche. A lot of these are simply little coming of age concepts that pretty much make up stories of teenagers in the media, and I want to do something different. We have both decided that we want to come up with a very sincere story, with a great emphasis on authentic writing. In my case, the first thing I visualize whenever it is that I eventually come up with a story is a small scene. Here's some of the few random things I've come up with:

• Someone walking past their fishbowl at home, walks back to check if goldfish is dead
• Opening scene: a staring contest
• A line from a character: "I liked your hair the other day but I didn't tell you because I don't like you."
• A waiting room
• An establishing shot of a flier (inspired by a sign I saw outside a church in Chicago): "Searching, longing, hoping... We welcome you!"
• Someone sitting on their bed and hearing someone doing a weird ritual from another room
• Totally Wired by The Fall playing during a montage of someone being really very extremely tired
• ^ I am a fan of irony

So yes, I'm hoping something sparks out of these little snippets my mind produces. I already have a few stories made up from these. I'll explain these in more detail on ze next post.

For now, here's the link for my visions playlist! I had mentioned it on my other blog last year. But here it is again, you know, for continuity purposes.

I have already used four of these songs in previous projects! Which is something I am really proud of. It shows how I'm capable of bringing my visions to life.

:)))))))))

Here's what's going on

Hola I'm back :)

So after careful consideration, I decided I will be teaming up with Mariana for this project! I had decided I was going to be working alone beforehand, but after weeks of getting to know Mariana more we came to the conclusion that we would make a solid team. We are both super passionate people so :)))))))

I'm excited!

We had a sleepover on Saturday for brainstorming purposes. My plan was to stay awake all night of course, and come up with crazy ideas. But no. I passed out while she was showing me some MGMT music videos. Sorry xx.

Here's a picture of great quality from that night. Shoutout to our boy Quentin.



We woke up the next morning and did some brainstorming before she went home. We have compiled all of our random thoughts in one Google doc. Here it is. There's definitely some stories that convince me more than others, but we still have a lot left to write and come up with to be able to make the decision.