It's all coming together (I am sure)

UPDATE alasjhdajlkfljfljf

I KNOW MY ENDING!!!

Okay so I currently have it all planned out and visualized in my mind and it's hard for me to put it into words but basically here's how it will go:

After the flashback scene, the main character will find her grandmother's teacup on the drying rack with all the dishes and have an argument with her mother about it. She's triggered because it is something very special, almost sacred to her.

After she argument, as an act of "venting" she will come downstairs and prepare the cup of tea. BUT,,,,, she will not drink from it. She'll just stare at it as she sits.

I feel like this will very much act as the "symbolic representation of further reflecting".

I also want to end with a little dedication to my grandmother :)

Me right now, very satisfied with my idea:

We're on track my dudes
xx

Negative Space

We have an outline boiz (kinda sorta). I finally know how I am arranging the clutter of scenes I had in mind!!!

1. monologue (about 30-45 seconds)
2. scene recreating conversation with my mom and brother about the whole melatonin thing
3. scene where main character is told to "come say goodbye"
4. flashback scene with grandmother while drinking tea (show hands only)
5. scenarios of main character interacting with teacup showing different stages of grief
6. ending????? 

And I still have no clue how I will end it exactly. Once I'm done shooting all these parts, I am sure I will come up with something great.

This is an experimental film, which means I am experimenting. So, I will start shooting what I am already sure of, like the melatonin scene or the flashback with the teacup. We just be figuring stuffs out along the way, which makes this very exciting. I am currently writing up the monologue and thinking of the scenes I will shoot while the voiceover is heard. I'm excited for this little Amélie-esque type scene.

Also, I've been really into watching random animated shorts on YouTube for some reason. I came across this one which had themes of loss. It was also Oscar nominated!!! It was so simple yet so poetic without trying to. It was beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. It felt extremely sincere, and the animation was just lovely. AAAAAAAA It was just perfect.

Here's a few stills:

Look how friggen pwetty^^^^

I am obsessed and I've been thinking about this film a lot. And it's also 5 minutes!!! It gave me a lot of inspiration on how to work with the theme, and the use of color in it is also very pleasing.

So yeah, I will keep you updated with the monologue and post my drafts soon :)))

My grandmother is a teacup (Fly high, Chip)

First of all I would like to make the following statement:
brainstorming by typing<<<<<<<<<<<<<brainstorming on paper

Everything just flows better man. Exhibit a:
(That last word that was cut off says "pondering" btw. I like that word a lot.)

I made this outline of my short film with two different options to what would come right after the opening monologue. I still can't make up my mind. Either way, the teacup scenes WILL appear withing the film, but I still don't know if I should state loss to then continue with them, or show them immediately, which will definitely be more symbolic. What I know for sure, is that my film will be an exploration of loss, and not about death. It's more about what comes after—the whole grieving process. So yeah, I'm still split between these two.

Also, during the class discussion we had when we had the change to talk about my ideas, people suggested that I have some sort of symbol that will serve as the spine for the entire film. This will be a teacup (which I thought was perfect because my grandmother's "thing" was drinking tea with milk in the mornings. I wasn't a fan of it personally. Tea should be drank with no milk. But it's okay I guess lol). So I was also thinking that, yes, the teacup could be the symbol. BUT what if at some point in the film, the lost loved one BECOMES the teacup? You know, the main character starts interacting with it a lot, and starts having conversations with it, using it as some sort of coping mechanism.  This would definitely be an interesting take and it would make it experimental. Which is what I'm looking for. I also thought of that Op Doc we watched in the beginning on the year. It represented a story of loss through the use of random objects, but it still managed to be incredibly profound and sincere. It really stuck to me a lot. Here it is: I Think This Is the Closest to How the Footage Looked. It's beautiful, and I will be watching it again for inspiration.

I also brainstormed on the main character (exhibit b):

I was thinking: this is my first time ever coping with a big loss—the first time ever I feel real grief. BUT I have experienced loss before. With a hamster and a chicken. Like a baby chick.

I just Googled images of the word "chick" for the heck of it and this is how it shows up:

In conclusion:
a) we live in a cruel world
b) capitalism = bad

Anyways, yeah a chick I won as a party favor gift type thing died after 2 days. I think it was hypothermia. Because we did feed him, if I remember correctly. RIP Chip, you're missed I guess.
So yeah the point is, I have experienced loss before with a chicken, but it does not compare to losing my grandmother. I was thinking the main character could mention in the monologue, how they lost a small pet, but they had no perception of what death was. They were told the chicken "went to heaven". So the point is, with this, I would explain how one can never really recover from losing someone. It will always hurt. Which is why I wrote: "Does time heal??". My film will end in a symbolic representation of further reflecting which kind of embodies the whole "does time heal?" thing.

I love writing on paper. This all flowed well.

Also, my mom had the idea of hanging chimes on a tree on our backyard to remember my grandmother. I hung them up today during golden hour and it was the most beautiful thing. The sound of it converted the backyard into some kind of etherial palace. I tried to upload a video of it but it didn't work :////
But it was so beautiful, my heart is full.

This is weird and random, but we will be doing a service for her March 12, which is exactly one month before the deadline of this project. I think somehow I was meant to do this, which makes me very happy. 

It's all coming together (I think)

I just had a group discussion about my short film. Here are my notes. It's a very messy and has a quite vague collection of words but it worked for me.

In summary, this is what I will be incorporating:

• My short film will be experimental
• It will be an exploration (crucial word) of loss and grief
• It won't necessarily have something that the audience can "learn", it will just be a very sincere portrayal of grief
• ^If anything, it will provide an insight of what children feel towards death (with the intoductory monologue)
• I might be showing my culture and reflecting my French and Peruvian roots through symbolism
• It will be introduced with a comedic monologue on how my main character perceived death as a child
• I will include a symbol to act as a "spine", probably be a tradition between the main character and the loved one who passed away
• This could be drinking tea
• The symbol will be the cup
• It won't have a resolved ending, you know, when the character moves on. It will end in a "symbolic representation of further reflecting" (these are Tstok's words).
• I want to show as many aspects of grief I can, but from my own perspective, so none of that "five stages of grief" stuff
• ^more than anything, it will embody confusion. One not knowing what should be felt.

So yes!! I will start screenwriting soon. I already have a more exact outline in my head so I will be writing everything based on that.

The gist of it all

I have yet to participate on the group meting (i am the last one lol) and I will be doing so tomorrow.

So this is what I will explain:

• This whole project will be an exploration of grief and loss. 
• This is my first time ever losing a loved one 
• I am using art as a way of overcoming
• my own perspective/experience with grief
• producing this as I am going through/experiencing it

So far I have a very rough idea of how my short film will be structured

1. Opening monologue showing "montage" of main character as a little girl (past)
2. It is revealed that she lost someone (present)
3. Her moving onto the future; looking at life after death

Things I would like to incorporate:

• Symbolism
• orchids were my grandmother's favorite flowers
• video game/computer game "losing lives"
• dry humor - death can be funny
• how children perceive death
• what they are told
• euphemisms
• very heartfelt and sincere

I have already started writing the monologue! I will be talking more about it soon!!
I have yet to have the class discussion so I will definitely have more things figured out.

Greetings from Heaven (it's great up here!!)

While I was trying to fall asleep last night, I came up with a genius idea for the promotional postcard. So my first thoughts on the postcard were to basically make a mini poster with the key art that I would eventually produce for the short film. But I thought of something even better. I was inspired by this:

And came up with this:

This is the basic sketch of it. I drew it on the back of an envelope with a pen so I wouldn't forget.

I think it's a great way to promote the humorous aspect of the film, and it will definitely hint the themes. I was thinking that the back would have that little rectangle space where the stamp would go AND sdkjvhkjfh wait for it kjdsnfj I'm a genius akjfnkdj

There would be some instructions in the back that would say (for example): head to theatre #12 at 2:30pm to collect your stamp.

Which is basically the time and place the short film would be screened in the film festival, and it would definitely engage the audience because they would be going on this little "scavenger hunt" if you will.

Research is my BFF

So I don't know if i should be researching SHORT films only?? Or films in general?? I guess I could do a bit of both but I'm not really finding much on short films.

I think my genre might be coming of age (wow shocker). I just love coming of age and I am a sucker for anything coming of age. I breathe coming of age.

So far, my opening will consist of a monologue. Here are a few films I will use as inspiration.

• Trainspotting (1996)
• Amélie (2001)
• Submarine (2010)

All these films are very different examples of coming of age. What I love about this genre is that it doesn't necessarily follow a defined set of conventions like all of those Marvel movies do. Coming of age has a very versatile nature. They can have (this is very bland word use) happy or sad endings, characters of any background, a variety of themes, and take place anywhere and anytime. I will definitely fit my film inside the coming of age category, but it will have hints of dry comedy. 

Anyways, I specifically chose these films because they have great monologues and writing.

I am a huge fan of the opening monologue from Trainspotting, and I will definitely be using it as a great example of establishing the story.

Submarine has a great monologue right after the opening, where Oliver, the main character, imagines how would life go on if he died, which is actually hilarious. I absolutely adore the dry comedy elements of this movie. It is so touching yet so funny at the same time, which are two elements I really want to go for. This is probably my favorite film ever and I didn't realize how it was basically made for me until my boyfriend pointed it out the other day when I made him watch it:

• It's an english film
• The soundtrack is composed by Alex Turner, the lead singer of my favorite band ever
• Dry humor *chef's kiss*
• It's coming of age
• The love interest has eczema (and I do too)

And finally theres Amélie! Which is also my little cousin's name (fun fact). Amélie has a great opening sequence which consists of narration introducing the "creation" of the character. I also really like the very distinct aesthetics of this movie. The colors are beautiful.

So yes!! This is my inspo! I have already decided on the first line of my opening monologue:

"When I was 9 I hated death."

More on this on the next post :)